Wasted Day

“The most wasted of all days…

is one without laughter.”

Land Of Blinds

“In the land of the blind,

the one-eyed man is stoned to death.”

Out Of Focus

“You cannot depend on your eyes

when your imagination is out of focus.”

Knowledge

“Knowledge is never confined by degrees,

as it already has many degrees.”

Laught At Oneself

“When a person can no longer laugh at himself,

it is time for others to laugh at him.”

Pretending

“You can pretend to be serious;

you can’t pretend to be witty.”

Critics And Dogs

“Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics

is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.”

Two Ways Of Telling The Complete Truth

“There are only two ways of telling the complete truth—

anonymously and posthumously.”

Seriously

“It is our responsibilities, not ourselves,

that we should take seriously.”

Deliberation

“No man is exempt from saying silly things;

the mischief is to say them deliberately.”

Prediction

“Prediction is very difficult,

especially about the future.”

Who Is A Diplomat?

“A diplomat… is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way

that you actually look forward to the trip.”

Everything Is Funny

“Everything is funny

as long as it is happening to somebody else.”

Discovery

“Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen…

and thinking what nobody has thought.”

Smile :-)

“Start every day off with a smile

and get it over with it.”

Advertising

“Advertising is the modern substitute for argument,

its function is to make the worse appear the better.”

Perfection

“Perfection is achieved,

not when there is nothing more to add,

but when there is nothing left to take away.”

Ask For Nothing

“When you have given nothing

ask for nothing.”

Life's 2 Tragedies

“Life contains but two tragedies.

One is not to get your heart’s desire;

The other is to get it.”

Man... You Can't Control

“The only thing worse than a man you can’t control…

is a man you can.”

Try To Learn

“Try to learn something about everything…

and everything about something.”

Confusion

“Confusion is always…

the most honest response.”